Retreat

I just got back from Jigg's Nevada...which is just outside of Elko, in the middle of nowhere. I attended the Desert Rose Ladies Retreat at Cowboy's Rest Christian Retreat. It's beautiful there....so amazingly beautiful. I think that's what I noticed more in this retreat than the previous two years. It's the kind of beauty that just makes you stop and breathe it all in. Saturday night I was gazing at the stars and wishing the moon was new instead of full so I could experience the full beauty of the night. In the darkness of it all, the moon was an almost annoying "headlight", but it was beautiful just the same. I did thank God for the moon though...since I kept forgetting my flashlight.

Spiritually, I was dry when I arrived. Leaving, I feel as though I'm still parched. My heart wasn't in it much this year. I do feel better though and I know that there is a purpose for my illness.

Pat is an amazing woman...she is a rancher's wife who started this retreat for other rancher's wives. They live miles from each other and miles from civilization....many times they don't even get to attend a local church on Sundays because they are so busy with the livestock. A couple years ago, Pat gave up the reigns of the retreat and handed it over to Paula...an equally wonderful woman. Over the years it has grown to include about 12 Salt Lake City women and I'm extremely blessed to be one of them. Anyway, Pat sat next to me at dinner on Friday evening. We caught up on the past year and she was saddened to hear about my illness and the past year of heartache and stress. I didn't talk about it in detail, but she kept saying some things to me and eventually the tears started rolling down my cheeks.

That evening, after worship, she interruped the service to talk about something. She started talking about how, at dinner, she could have sat next to this person or that person (adding hilarious comments), but instead God led her to sit by "Lorri" (which sparked rolling laughter). I think I'll choose to view that as a compliment.....yeah.

She didn't say much about my illness, but looked at me through tears in her eyes and said that God was asking her to have everyone lay hands on me and pray for healing as well as give me a message. She gave me His message and here it is:

2 Corinthians 1:5-7

2Cr 1:5 You can be sure that the more we suffer for Christ, the more God will shower us with his comfort through Christ.

2Cr 1:6 So when we are weighed down with troubles, it is for your benefit and salvation! For when God comforts us, it is so that we, in turn, can be an encouragement to you. Then you can patiently endure the same things we suffer.

2Cr 1:7 We are confident that as you share in suffering, you will also share God's comfort.

Then they all laid hands on me and prayed deeply for God to heal me. I weeped and thanked God for his mercy and claimed His healing.

That night, out of habit, I took my medication. The next morning I woke up and I felt great...though I didn't even recognize it. Usually, I wake up stiff and sore. The worship pavillian is down a steep hill and the lodge (where I slept, ate) is up the hill. You spend quite a bit of time walking back and forth as well as any other walking you decide to do. Saturday, we also were paired up with another person and were told to get to know one another. My partner and I went on a very long walk in very hilly terrain. That evening, I was so tired. I wanted to just go to sleep. It wasn't until the next morning, at worship, when someone asked me how I was that I remembered I didn't even take my medication, I had forgotten, because I wasn't in any pain. I felt GREAT!

Wednesday, before I left on Friday morning, I spent the whole day in the ER because my doctor thought I was going to need my appendix out. It turned out to be a huge cyst on my left ovary...which was very painful. I still felt that pain on Friday.....that is, until I was prayed for. I feel so ashamed that I am not very observant of these major praises.....I just don't think I'm an observant person to begin with. Someone could rob a store, I could be standing right next to them and I'd have nothing of value to tell the police. I'm serious! I'm oblivious to things all around me.

I think that is why, this year, I spent most of the time just looking at the scenery before me. I think that is what I needed this year....peace. Peace in knowing that God is everywhere and that no matter the suffering, He has a purpose. He showed me that in the compassion of others and in the beauty He created. There is a tree at the retreat that is beautiful. One side is full of green leaves. It droops over as if it is worshiping its creator. The other side is barren. Cut off from life, broken and dry. But it's still beautiful.

God is Great. He is the Great Physician. I don't claim to be healed, but I am grateful for any moment He will bless me with. While my knees are mildly achey today, my muscles still remain free of pain. That is amazing! After walking 4 miles two weeks ago, and sufferingthrough a Sarcoidosis flare-up with high fevers until this past Thursday, it's amazing that I'm not in bed today. It truly is a miracle! I praise God for each day I do not suffer in pain. I'll take whatever I can get.....a minute or a lifetime. I'll now start praising him even on those days where I do not feel myself. Because, I know He has a purpose for this illness. 1) To give me more compassion to others who suffer and 2) To be able to lift someone else up, let them hear my story and let them know they are not alone.