New Pork Times
July 6, 2006
If you're one of the 15 million Americans who love eating fast food, but it's showing on your waistline or in your arteries, you just might benefit from a new device that hit the stores today.
A new GPS system has been designed to track your every fast-food move.
Why? Because you can't bypass your local McDonalds....that's why!
This new device is amazing and more importantly, paid for by the United States Government with a tax rebate you'll receive after 5 years. Micheal Moore, the GPS celebrity spokesman, said in recent news conference, "This product is just what I needed. I've lost 350 lbs since having the FFGPS system installed into my $80K Mercedes. It really helps deter me from making those turns into my local Arby's. "
FFGPS Corp. says this about the spectacular weight crushing device. "In an effort to help our customers control their calorie intake, we have designed a system that keeps you from turning into your local drive-thru for a gooey double cheeseburger and extra large french fry. Our system is easy to use and fully operational when you take it out of the packaging. After you enter your zip code you'll be greeted with a friendly, "Hey Sexy! You're lookin' HOT today!" Only the fast food resturants are programmed into the FFGPS. If you turn into any of these places you'll receive a warning and you'll be given ten seconds to correct your mistake or you'll be ejected from your vehicle.
Moore, who was ejected at least 45 times before he made his 9/11 flop, says the device is the most effective piece of equipment he's ever seen and has sold his soul to endorse the product.
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1 comment:
ROFLPIMP! That's great!!!!
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